New Job, First Office Job

       I started my first engineering job a few weeks ago. It's weird going from retail/physical labor jobs to an office. The main difference is that I got used to being one of the smartest people in retail, and now I realize that I know nothing at all at this new position. I've been told that I've been hired for my potential, but I still feel stupid asking beginner questions.
      I learned that it is networking that gets people hired. It wasn't until I started going to professional engineer organizations and talking with people there that I started having more luck. Informational interviews can lead to job offers. Online applications are the worst. For those of you having a tough time finding a job reach out and ask for help.

More Job Searching

        Job searching is weird. I've been told that I'm overqualified for drafting positions, that I'm not qualified for mechanical engineering jobs, that they are looking at other candidates. I've been to interviews where they ask me where I want to be in 5-10 years. Onetime I answered that I would like to be a design engineer focusing on new products and helping new engineers figure out what area of engineering they want to go into. The interviewer then asked me if that would mean an HR position. I've been to interviews where they have a list of prepared questions, and record my answers; others where they just have my resume and ask whatever comes to their minds without writing anything down. Sometimes I wonder if the reason I haven't found anything is because of sexism, but the only way I could prove that is if I change my resume/cover letter names to male. Anyhow, I know I'll find something soon, it's just a matter of time.

Upcoming Presidency

      Trump is president. Yes, this statement scares me. But not as much as the people who might be in his Cabinet. Pence is terrifying for his LGBT conversion therapy. (Not only to mention the increase of HIV cases in IN because of defunded Planned Parenthood. Extreme conservatives tend to forget that Planned Parenthood preforms other services besides abortions.) As for Cabinet members I will focus on those who have no competition for the position. (At least according to: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/us/politics/donald-trump-administration.html?_r=0)

       Labor Secretary, the person who is in charge of protecting workers, keeping updates to U.S. employment rates and unemployment benefits. This position will be held by Victoria Lipnic from PA. She has been appointed to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) in the past by Barack Obama. However she has worked there since 2002. Interestingly enough she has voted against LGBT workplace laws and against the Pregnancy Discrimination Act (aka favoring employers).

       Secretary of Veteran Affairs, in charge of veterans care and memorials. Jeff Miller (R-FL) will hold this position. In the past he has been pro-veterans benefit, which is good considering the role chosen. He is also in favor of more defense spending, and the creation of mini-nukes (more commonly known as suitcase bombs).  He also approves of drilling oil in the Alaska Arctic Refuge, and has said that he would vote against any tax increases that fund ANY Global Warming legislation. He is also pro-life, anti-gay, pro-NRA, and against the separation of church and state.

      U.S. Trade Representative, responsible for trade policy and conducting negotiations. This will be held by Dan DiMicco. He has worked at Nucor Steel for his entire career; starting as a metallurgist and eventually becoming the CEO. Nucor Steel is the largest steel producer (and recycle) in the US. Since becoming CEO Nucor has acquired over 50 acquisitions and has a return growth of 720%. He was chosen because he supports free-trade, and wants to create more manufacturing jobs in the US. However he is against environmental regulations, and would prefer private companies conducting their own environmental studies.
     
      And finally the last known position of National Security Adviser, the person who advises the President on, well, national security. Michael T. Flynn will hold this position and is a candidate for the C.I.A. director. He is a retired three star general, serving as director of intelligence for operations in both Afghanistan and Iraq. He is a former Democrat, however left Washington after deciding that Obama didn't do enough against Islamic militants. He has approved Russia cooperation with fighting ISIS, but does not approve of their attempts at influencing the election. I'll admit, fighting ISIS requires the help of most countries, it's impossible to tackle piecemeal. He is pro-life, anti-Islam, and has not commented on same sex marriage.

      From these choices I am getting a theme from the Donald Trump Cabinet. The U.S will no longer support climate change, will most likely defund Planned Parenthood (despite the work it does with women's health, breast cancer, and STD's), remove many gay rights that we've gained, and become more militaristic. Now I do agree with the conservative view that the government should spend less and that there is too much red-tape. I also agree that there could be more stable/productive jobs to have a decent living. And yes, sometimes Obamacare can cost too much for someone to afford. But it just started, no one gets anything perfect on the first try. However the rest of these policies that may come into place with a Republican President, House, Senate, and Supreme Court is frightening.

       But no matter how frightened we are we need to be civil and our viewpoints across peacefully. We need to be strong and also listen to the concerns of the other side. They are part of our country too. Let's remember what we all learned in kindergarten, to share and compromise. No one will get exactly what they want all the time, but we can compromise to move in a direction that will lead to a better future for all. The time for political extremism is over, let's work together.

Update on Random Topics

1. I hate retail jobs. I started one part way through the summer to begin paying off student loans. Customers can be the worst people on the planet. Also having company policy of two 15 min breaks for an 8hr shift is almost inhumane.

2. This election is terrifying. The fact that a large portion of the population is voting for Trump is awful. It's been interesting to see how the media has boosted his numbers, just by mentioning him almost every night since he announced he was running. Clinton is definitely the lesser of the two evils. In some ways as an introvert I understand some of her reasoning, but there is a certain point where you admit fault. The media has also been key in making the email scandal a larger deal than it has to be. Anyhow GO VOTE, this is not an election you want be angry about the outcome of. There's a Supreme Court seat that will be chosen, maybe more if any of the older ones (I mean all of them, except Kagan) pass away.

3. Job hunting is the hardest thing anyone has to do, unless you are extremely lucky. A few of my friends had jobs lined up right out of college, but not many. And you'll find that most companies will think you are underqualified for a position, few will think you are over qualified. I'm still looking for a mechanical engineering job, but it's also nice working in retail to be able to run from the student loan giant looming over my shoulder.

4. Did I mention that you should all vote this year?

5. Online dating is also not going well. Women never respond no matter how you approach it. Maybe I should just open up a lesbian bar with various theme nights.

Feeling Unwanted

       I've been feeling unwanted lately. I keep getting either no response from companies I've applied to, or rejected from positions. Most of my friends seem to make no effort to hang out with me even though I live 10 min from them. Dating is a no go right now, no income = no money for going out to meet people. I've been trying online dating, but women tend to hardly respond, no matter if I send "Hey, how's it going?" or if I try to talk about their hobbies. It's a bit weird feeling unwanted, because I also don't want to impose this on other people. Hopefully I'll find a job soon, I know that I am good at anything I set my mind to, but it's hard when you have little experience in the field. At least I can stay with my parents. Anyhow, hope you all are doing well. Stay safe and be kind to one another.

Job Hunting

       It has been two months since I have graduated college (you'd think I'd mention that before, but nah), and still no job. I had applied to 30 positions before graduating, and 40 since graduating. I've only had three phone interviews, and a single in person interview, and no job offers. This is definitely helping with my depression. It's especially frustrating applying to "entry level" positions where the company is asking for 3 years of experience, and a number of qualifications that colleges don't teach. It doesn't help that I've never had an engineering internship, and engineering jobs don't care that I've worked at the same job for four summers in a row.
       Since I am unemployed, I am staying with my parents. Lately my mother has been telling me contradictory statements that are infuriating. Here is a list of what I  mean:

1. Finding a job is a full time job, spend 7+ hours on it a day.
2. But also spend 2 hrs a day doing chores around the house
3. Get outside during the day
4. Find a hobby to work on, have fun
5. Go volunteer someplace
6. Find a job that you love and that gets your foot in the door
7. Why aren't you trying to find a job? (Entry level biomedical jobs are hard to find/get)
8. X job you applied for doesn't suit you, I don't know why you applied there.
9. But why aren't you applying more?

       This cycle has been going on for awhile. I swear she's gone crazy. I'm about to start applying to retail jobs, if I get one maybe then she'll stop bugging me. I guess I expected to have an easy time finding a job once I graduated from engineering, at least that's what everyone made it seem like.  I have known a few engineers who have looked for jobs for 6-12 months before finding anything. We'll see how it goes.

Orange is the New Black S4 SPOILERS

       I don't cry about TV shows usually, but Orange is the New Black managed to make me cry. They killed off my favorite character, Poussey Washington. Another lesbian character has been killed to further the plot. It's also an outrage that she was one of the very few POC lesbians on the show. Her death was also an accident. Just after the scenes of her and Soso were planning their life together. I find it somewhat disgusting that Chapman and Vause are currently happily together. It seems that this death specifically targeted POC lesbians. I should have known the writers would have killed her off. It's sad that I have to type that.

TV Trope: Dead Lesbian

       I loved the show "The 100", it started off great. Interesting premise, interesting character development in seasons one and two, and it even had a strong lesbian lead character: Lexa. Then they killed her off (a scene after she and Clarke made love), after months of the producers clamoring about how LGBT friendly they were. Her death was meaningless, I mean Clarke could have saved her with the equipment in the room. I'll admit I've still kept up with the show, even after they killed off a strong POC lead character (for no reason), mainly because of Raven.
       Anyhow, this made me wonder, why are all the lesbians dead on TV? I looked at the Ultimate Infograph to Dead TV Lesbians and All 158 Dead Lesbians and How the Died by AutoStraddle. The Infograph is a great way to compare the number of lesbian characters to the number of straight characters (the numbers need to be updated a bit). But it doesn't go into detail about networks or death specifics like the complete list does. So I went through the 158 Lesbian list and came up with the graphs at the end of the section. This list focuses on live action TV, and does not include any Western animated series or anime.
       In Figure 1 the number of lesbian characters killed off has been increasing dramatically in the past four years. 2016 looks like it might be a record year for lesbian TV deaths, since it is already more than half of 2015 deaths. It would be interesting to compare the number of surviving lesbian characters in each year, but that would require a lot more data finding.
       Figure 2 shows the types of deaths that kill the lesbian characters. I knew that getting shot was a common way for writers to kill of lesbian characters. I did not expect to see categories of explosion, bludgeoning, and throat slitting to be so popular. For graph clarity the disease category covers lung cancer, heart attacks, etc. This is also applied to the murdered and shot category. Some of the categories in "Other" are childbirth, electrocution, drowning, being eaten by monsters,drug overdose, etc.

       It was actually unnerving to see Figure 3, and how many deaths were intentional acts of violence. Many of these were carried out by ex-lovers/husbands, etc. The "N/A" category exists since some minor characters were killed in a manner that makes the motivation unclear.

      Finally Figure 4 shows the number of lesbians killed off on a given network. ABC is currently the worst offender in terms of death toll. However, the CW's Lexa death has been the most controversial, and the most talked about in recent years. The "Other" category is networks that have had under 5 lesbian character deaths, and are generally non-US networks.

       Now it is nice having representation on TV. However, when I begin watching a show and I see a lesbian character and think "I wonder how they are going to kill off this one." or "I'd better not get too attached." there is a problem. I wish that more live-action shows took the approach that many children's animated shows (i.e Bubbline, Korrasami, Garnet). It's ridiculous that kids shows have alive and happier lesbian couples than live action, more adult shows. This theme in TV reinforces old fashioned thinking that only young girl/school girls are allowed to be gay and once you get older you need to be straight. If it's one thing we can thank Jason Rothenberg for it's that Hollywood will hopefully think twice (or more) about killing off lesbian characters for "shock value". Hopefully we can expect more lesbian characters who live throughout a series in the future.

Fig 1: Graph displaying number of lesbian character deaths on TV per year.

*2016 data only from January to June.

Fig. 2: Method of death, with corresponding number.

Fig. 3: If the actions that resulted in a death were intentional by another character (i.e Lexa was accidentally shot, so her death was not intentional).

Fig. 4: Number of killed off lesbians on each network

Orlando Tragedy

       It isn't something that we, the LGBT community, ever thought would happen. But Sunday morning a lone gunman, Oman Mateen, open fired an automatic rifle the gay club Pulse. 50 people were killed inside the club, 53 people were injured. These numbers make it the worst mass shooting in US history. The media is calling this a terror attack. In my mind it is not a terror attack, it is a hate crime. Mateen's ex-wife stated that he was a non-practicing Muslim. He specifically targeted a gay club; if he wanted an act of terror he could have gone to another nightclub.
       This event will most likely bring about a phase of Islamophobia, especially considering it is an election year. We all need to remember that Islam is a religion of peace, and that it is an extremely small minority that are extremists. Calling every Muslim a terrorist is like calling every Christian a member of the KKK. Do not punish Muslims for the small minority of extremists. No matter what religion you follow, please remember that all religions tell people to love your neighbor, do no harm to others, be peaceful to one another.
      I will be donating to the Trevor Project and to the GoFundMe for the Orlando victims and families. I want a world where everyone has a safe spot that everyone can go to. Part of me wonders if the recent killing off of LGBT characters in TV shows have influenced this attack. But that is a discussion for another time. Please stay safe and be kind to one another.

       Trevor Project Donation:  https://give.thetrevorproject.org/checkout/donation?eid=63307 
       Orlando GoFundMe:  https://www.gofundme.com/PulseVictimsFund

Yesterday Will Go Down In History

       So I am sure that all of you have heard that gay marriage is now legal in the entire United States of America! I was able to listen to most of Obama's speech on the radio, so happy that it the Supreme Court passed it, thanks guys! Thanks Obama for putting Kagan and Sotomayor in those positions! The outcome of the decision (5-4) definitely shows how much power a president has when choosing a Justice, should be interesting to see what happens in the next few years.
      Anyhow I am celebrating tonight by drinking a few beers and listening to a lot of Tegan and Sara. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and stay safe!!

Really Need to Post More Often

      Those of you who asked about finals, they went surprisingly well. I passed all my classes with the lowest/average grade being a B. So that's good, I'm kind of shocked cause there were at least two courses that I should have gotten a C. Summer has been good so far, been working a lot of overtime to pay for my final year of school. I will still have to take out another loan though.
       It was hilarious because during the last two weeks of school a whole bunch of my friends thought that my friend Trent and I were dating; Trent knows that I'm gay. That was hilarious to watch the gossip around that. He's a good guy, like a brother to me if anything. Also last night I got a text from another guy friend who knows I'm gay, he basically said that he wants to sleep with me and that I look like Caitlyn Jenner. Thanks dude, but you'll have better chances sleeping with her than with me. But I hope I look as good as she does when I'm 65.

The Problems of Lesbian Dating Sites

       So recently I have attempted online dating, however I have found a few flaws.  The first site I tried was called Pink Sofa, which only has a three day free trial, then costs $10/month.  I am a college student, so no I don't want to pay dollars.  Second I tried Pink Cupid, and it went really smoothly, until I tried to message someone, we both had standard accounts, so we can't view the messages.  Yes, you heard me.  The only way to view a message from someone  is if one of the people in the conversation is paying for a membership.  So that's a no.  I don't understand why there are so many free, no cost straight dating sites, but when it comes to LGBT dating they want dollars.  It's extremely frustrating.  It doesn't help that my internet connection is the pace of a tortoise with honey on it's feet.

It's Been Awhile

       So it's only been about six months since I've posted....oops.  I should have posted during winter break, but clearly that never happened.  As for this semester it's been hectic, all classes have major assignments due alternating weeks, so I've been working on homework 6 nights/days a week.  For those of you starting school set aside one day a week to relax and have fun, it definitely helps.  Anyhow I've decided that you could make an engineering BINGO card depending on the school you go to.  Free space would be if you have an assignment from every class due in the same week; another space would be a saying that a professor says a lot (or multiple spaces), etc. Just hand it out at freshman orientation, see how many people complete it.  This BINGO card would vary between each subset of engineering of course, but it could work.
       And now for something completely different.  I was hanging out with one of my friends at the bars last night and as we were walking back he said "so-and-so told me that you were a lesbian."  I had one of those moments where I forget that people do talk about me when I'm not there, and it's interesting to see how this is slowly spreading in my circle of engineering friends.  I can't really blame So-and-So since he was drunk at the time, and I usually come out to people after I've had a few.  I should start to map it to see how long it takes to get to a certain number of people through gossiping.  Anyhow I hope you all had a great holiday season and safe spring!  I'll post later (hopefully not six months later)!

Question Time!

       So for those of you that regularly read my posts, or those of you just passing by I will answer any questions that you may have.  Ask in the comments or send me an email.  I would like to know what you guys want to hear.  I realize that I am inconsistent in the posting of things.  I will take all questions and answers and compile them into a post when finals are done.  Talk to you later!

Travel

       So I travel quite a bit, mainly through airports, since home and college are in different states.  I happened to find this handy dandy calculator that shows you what the best option is, flying or driving.  Link here: http://www.travelmath.com/  It allows you to look at halfway points, food, hotels, etc.  It also breaks down everything into simple terms such as price of gas, average wait time, etc.  So if anyone travels a lot, give it a try.  Semester has been busy, lots of projects, but that's good.  Catch ya later.  Stay safe and enjoy the fall colors!

Good Times

       Last night I went to a party with a number of friends and had a really good time.  Got a bit drunk sobered up, had a cigarette (yes I know cigarettes are bad), talked to a lot of people I have never met before.  Later on in the evening a girl needed a walk home, so Chad (Same Chad as last post) and I walked her back and then headed back to the party.  We had a really nice 20 min. chat about my sexuality.  Last year when I came out to him I was pretty drunk, and he said that the next week he had wondered if I had even remembered, which I did.  Apparently he hasn't told anyone else, although he has really wanted to tell his roommate (whom I'm also really good friends with) that I'm gay; but he hasn't.  He said that he doesn't feel like it's his right to do that.  Then we talked about women and what we like, and how he enjoys talking about that to me.  He also asked how many people knew, which is a few, and he's glad that I can trust him that much.  It was just really nice to be able to talk about my sexuality down at school, all the people who know are back at home, except for Chad.  But I had a great night last night, hope you all did also.

Hey All

       Life has been interesting lately.  School is going well, however I just reached the point of the semester where I have zero motivation, and a lot of stuff that's due in the next month, but I just don't want to work on it.  I'll get over that though, and go back to my usual productive self.  I have realized some things in the past few weeks that are different.  One is that I'm ready to be lower my walls, and I have no idea how to do so.  I had a relationship end pretty badly 5 years ago, I trusted someone a lot and they turned their back.  So in defense I put up some really strong emotional walls that were already there to begin with.  Now I have a really hard time telling people what is truly on my mind, at least emotionally.
       In the last month I've been hanging out with two of my guy friends a lot; one of them knows I'm gay and we talk about it occasionally (we'll call him Chad).  I trust them and it's nice just to be able talk to a guy (amusingly enough we have the same type that we tend to fall for).  However I realized that with Chad I wouldn't mind being in a pseudo-relationship.  What I mean by this is that he's like a brother I guess, I wouldn't mind just chilling and falling asleep next to him, just as long as nothing sexual occurred.  I'm not used to actually craving physical contact, so it's kind of new to me.  The only time I get physical is when I've had a few drinks, then I'll put my arm around someone's shoulder or hug them, but nothing excessive.  Also one of my friends told me that I was the nicest drunk that he has ever met, so I guess that's a good thing.  Hope all is going well with you guys, enjoy the wonderful fall colors and the pumpkin flavored everything!

Trust, or Just Lucky?

       So lately there has been this article floating about (http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/09/emma-sulkowicz-campus-sexual-assault-activism.html) the internet.  It focuses on a young woman named Emma, who has started a movement by carrying her mattress around campus as long as her rapist is still on enrolled in the same school.  It's actually pretty cool how much media this has gotten.
       Now being in engineering 90% of the people I seem to hang around are guys.  This past weekend I went to a party and had a blast just hanging out, but I also had a lot to drink.  Way too much to drink.  But never once did I fear for my safety.  I trust my engineering friends, either that or I am really lucky that I chose them as friends.  I don't think any of them would attempt anything sexual with a woman without her consent.  I'm just really glad that I can trust them, I wish that all women could feel that safe.
      Arguably I don't really go to parties where I don't know people.  I also am extremely private, and have a difficult time getting emotionally/physically close to people.  Anyhow stay safe, have a great fall, enjoy the pumpkin flavored everything!

College - 4th year

       My fourth year of college has started, I have another to go.  It's a weird mixture of feelings about staying a 5th year.  A lot of my close friends at home are going to graduate on time, and a lot of my good friends here are going to either stay an extra year, or graduate.  I enjoy learning, but I would also like to just get out and work for a few years.  Working over the summer was nice because I didn't have to do anything work related after work, school you always have homework and projects.  However, staying an extra year gives me an extra summer to get an internship, so far I've only had seasonal positions in non engineering jobs.
       I'm taking a really fascinating biosolid mechanics course, talking about bone strength, and how different joints have different forces, etc.  And a CAD course, where we'll get a project and need to design it, then present it to the class.  I've also somehow managed to go through two semesters in a row without buying textbooks.  PDFs are a college students best friend, except when the class has open book, open note exams.
       Hope you all have a good semester or quarter (if you're in school).  For those of you working full time have a blast.  Have fun and work hard!

Long time no post

       It's been awhile.  Summer has been going by way too quickly.  The Supreme Court recently decided that corporation CEO's can decide that their own religious beliefs can allow them to opt out of offering birth control to their employees.  I noticed that all the women were opposed, and for good reason.  I'm sure a lot of people don't agree with the CEO of their work place on some level.  I'm disappointed in the outcome, even though I won't need to use birth control.
       I've noticed lately that I've become somewhat jealous of one of my gay friends.  She is the stereotypical butch lesbian, so there is almost no need for her to come out to people.  I'm more of a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl.  Have a safe fourth of july and don't let the mosquitoes bite.